Tuesday Twaddle

Not much excitement here, just trying to fight off the winter blues, and the winter poundage.

Ameranth has a head cold and is being quite generous with it, bless her soul.

The van is gulping oil and then drooling it out on the driveway overnight, so it will be checked out on Thursday. After I drive it to the oral surgeon to see if my root is fractured or not. I am hoping for the 'not'.

Looking on the bright side of not being very energetic, I have gotten a lot of reading done lately. I enjoyed "Towers of Midnight" by Brandon Sanderson, who is finishing the Wheel of Time series after Robert Jordan died. Only one more book to be published to complete this storyline, which I started reading in 1990 with the first book. It's been a long wait!

Today I finished the four volume Tiffany Aching and the Wee Free Men young adult series by Terry Pratchett. Very entertaining.

It's been awhile since we had one of Mr. Crazy's movie reviews, so I'll finish up this rambling sort-of-news with this recent offering.

(The movie is Jennifer's body and here's the description from Wikipedia-
A newly possessed cheerleader turns into a killer who specializes in offing her male classmates. Can her best friend put an end to the horror?)

Here you go:

She did have a nice body I must admit, but a bit of an over bite.  I think it should be watched about one time and then put into the archives.  Still, it was a good movie.   Sorta like a drum roll, starts out quiet, gets louder and in the end  you hear the boom!   For the body I give it 3 pops and for the movie 2 corns.  Enjoy!

Restoring Sanity with Mr Crazy

Ameranth took a bus last night to attend the Jon Stewart Restoring Sanity Rally in Washington DC. J and I watched it live on TV this afternoon, but didn't see her there, although we had told her to wave. She called later so we know she not only survived the huge crowds of people and the bus ride with strangers, she also had a good time.

I enjoyed the rally, but they were preaching to the choir since I appreciate moderation in all things (except food) and hate the name-calling and venom so often in the news.

Meanwhile, we were dealing with important matters at home. J's birthday is Monday and I needed to know what kind of cake he wanted.

J: Well, my favorite is chocolate with chocolate frosting, but since Ameranth doesn't like that, I'll have white cake with chocolate frosting.

Me: White? or do you mean yellow?

J: Oh, I do remember Aunt Edie's white cakes- they were the best, but you like yellow cake, so I'll have yellow.

Me: It's your birthday, and I like any kind of cake so- white or yellow?

J: White....You know what I'd really like? Banana cream pie!

Me: Okay- that's even easier. Banana cream pie it is.

J: Mmm Mmm Banana cream pie. Wait- what is that again?

Me: Banana cream pie? It's bananas in pudding with whipped cream and a graham cracker crust.

J: Oh, you mean a 'pie' pie. I meant Boston Cream Pie.

Me: Well, which one do you want? They don't make the Boston Cream Pie mix anymore. (Betty Crocker, why have you failed me? And yes, I can make it from scratch but it just doesn't taste the same as the mix my grandmother used)

J: Boston Cream- that's what I want.


So off we go to the grocery store. J always parks in the same two rows: first we go up the second row in, and then down the outside if nothing's available in his first choice. That way we go in the correct door to grab a cart and circle the store in the proper direction. Today we had problems- too many people were shopping and 'our' rows were full.

J: Hmm, no openings. Now what do we do?

Me: Why don't you try the third row? I saw some spaces there.

J: All righty. That's what we'll do.

Me: Oooh, exciting. I don't think we've ever parked in this row before!

J: I think you're right. My, aren't we adventurous today?

It's a pity none of our children were with us. They so love our humor. 
But they might have decided we need to restore some sanity right here in Maine.

Mr Crazy reviews The Blind Side

Mom asked me to get this movie and I said yes, reluctantly.  Well I was hit on the blind side with this one!  You have to watch it, but first a warning.  Guys, make sure the girls are watching it with you, just in case someone shows up at the door.  Hey it's her movie, I was just screening it!.  And then tell all your friends that they should watch it!  No guns or such, but lots of good film.  Maybe a few tissues, a few cold ones and some eats.  You will enjoy this movie.  I give it a 4 out of 5!  As Get Smart says, missed it by that much!  Now go and order it!

Mr Crazy goes to the movies

 Ok, I had to do this.  J loves movies and has a Net.flix account. He has (often) watched the same movie twice and sometimes thrice, mostly by accident. However, as he says, if he liked it the first time, he likes it the second time around too.

He started sending reviews to Mr. C and Shoeshine, I believe. After Ms M pointed out that Mr C always had to read them to her, so why didn't she rate a copy, J has included us all on his list.  Tonight's was a good one (by that I mean his review, I know nothing about the movie) and I have to share.

 Here we go:
Ok, hang on to your shorts!   "NINJA ASSASSIN"  A must get movie for those that  like Ninjas.  Also for those that like a lot of blood and swords.  Good story line, well, for a ninja movie, and has a bit of romance in it to boot!. Too bad all the good girls die, but hey, that is what Ninjas do!  Kill and then ponder over a hot bed of coals about the girl that was supposed to be the one!  Poor Ninja, she is always the one that got away.  Or left, or met mister wonderful, you know the type, not into killing and such, well never mind I am getting off course.  So it is a good movie, lots of blood, guts and way, and I mean way! lots of swords!  And I want one of them.  Ok sue me.  But do get the movie, only a hr and some, not counting the silly adds and such, so yes, be a good 2 hrs, but a good watch and I would make lots of corn and bring the drinks cause you won't want to leave your seat!  Riveting  is too strong, so I will say, very very exciting if you like watching guys in black with knives kick the ass out of guys in white with guns.  It is a 5 guys and gals!

You gotta love him.

Still crazy

I was trying calm Boomer down this morning, and complained to J as he walked into the room: "I can't give him the least bit of attention without him getting way too excited and wanting to jump all over me!'

 Mr Crazy immediately said "Of course not, he's a male!"

Then, just now he sniffed the air and said the baking cake smelled good. I was in the next room and asked him what the timer said, but got no answer. He came in and asked if I had asked him something?

"Yes, what does the timer say?"
"Ha, the timer can't talk!"

Hardy har har.

Mr Crazy goes to bed

J went in to bed as I was brushing my teeth, and when I walked in, he asked:
"You didn't hear me yelling?"
"No, what did you want?"
"I said 'COME IN HERE, WENCH, AND GET ME WARM!' because I'm a Viking and that's a woman's job"
"And that is why there are no Vikings left"
...
"Their wives killed them all?"
"Yes."
"Well, the bed is warm now, so I don't need you."


A minute later he starts roaring with laughter, and says "I was imagining you putting that in your blog- 'J the Hun'"
"J, the dancing Hun"

We had tried a new Wii game earlier, Just Dance, and it was hilarious. We sucked big time, but boy, was it funny! You are supposed to mimic your mirror-image dancer on screen, and get points for combos and such. I couldn't get the mirror part down, and kept trying to use my right hand to match the dancer's right hand. I did get more points than J once, but that was because he had to sit down to laugh in the middle. I think I've mentioned that I have no sense of rhythm and cannot dance, but it was a workout! 'Eye of the Tiger' went pretty well for me, I thought, but J won with 'Girls just want to have fun'.

Mr Crazy's daughter

I totally told her I was going to write that conversation down, but Ameranth did it first. And she did a good job, so you should go here and read it for a chuckle. She's a chip off her father's block, that one.

Venting

Here at the Crazy house, we wash dishes by hand, always have, always will (sigh). Four kids did some of the work for years, with varying degrees of sulkiness. We did plan to include a dishwasher when we moved our kitchen from one room to the next, but there was no room. 

 

Because we were doing this ourselves, and we are were poor thrifty, we reused cabinets and got creative by using an old bureau for our sink base.  We like the way it turned out, but we only had room for the trash can, instead of a dishwasher.

This all leads up to me pointing out that J is not inexperienced with hand washing dishes, or with the drainer that sits in the...drain. We use a dish pan and when we are done, you tip the water out, and rinse the sink. The strainer (that's what it's called!) catches the solid stuff  (because needless to say we do  not have a garbage disposal either) and you dump it out in the trash. Simple, eh? Not if you're Mr. Crazy.

Mr. Crazy takes the strainer out before he dumps the water. Why, you ask? Because the water goes too slowly for him and the strainer gets dirty. He likes it to rush down the pipes carrying with it the little pad that kept popping off the counter protector board thingy we keep on the counter and that we had to keep reglueing. Well, we don't have to worry about glueing it anymore. Of course, it's hard to make a sandwich on the board, or butter toast, but what the heck, the strainer is clean.

Oh, and while I'm venting- I went to Wally World today and got 2 bottles of soda, a printer cartridge and 2 other small items. I asked the cashier to put them all in one bag, feeling bad that I had forgotten our cloth bags. "Even the ink?" she said doubtfully. I felt like asking her if she had ever tried opening one of those packages, believe me it wasn't going to leak, but I just told her yes.  So, she double-bagged them, "just in case".  Thank you.

And to end on a happier note, I must say Mr. Crazy can make me laugh. Watching Wheel of Fortune tonight, he was out of the room for most of the puzzle, which was a 'same last name' category.  He walked back just in time to guess it before the player did, much to his pride.

"ALLIGATOR
AND FAN
BELT"

"I got it! And I don't even know where that is!"
"Where what is?"
"The alligator belt.....oh, it's a belt belt?" waving his hands around his waist.
"Yes- what were you thinking?"
"You know, like the Bible Belt or something. Somewhere down south"

Gotta love him.

Hmmm

J is in the other room watching the news, and called out to me:
"I guess I need to get married again"
"Oh? Why?"
"They said men getting married now tend to marry richer women"
"You didn't mean get married again to me?!?'
"Not unless you get a job"

Decorating with Mr Crazy

J and I both had Friday and Saturday off this week, so were able to wrap up a few holiday chores.  Being the cheapskate thrifty shopper that I am, we walked the perimeter of our pasture yesterday, looking for one we could cut, that was on our side of the stone wall. No luck, although the dogs enjoyed the outing. I really hate paying anything a lot for a tree.

We set out this morning to get the best bargain we could, which would mean J looking high and me low for one we could agree on. Lo and behold, we drove past a neighbor's driveway and saw a tree stuck in the snowbank, with a cardboard sign stating "FREE".  We looked at each other and turned to get it. Wow, 30 seconds from home and done already!

J stopped and waited, until I told him to be the man and get out and grab the tree. I waved out the window in case our friends saw us taking their discard. He popped it on top of the truck cover whereupon I asked him did he think it was going to stay  there?  600 feet home? No problem!  5 seconds later, he stopped the truck and hopped out to pick it up off the road, while I was saying that the driver behind us was laughing at us.

Cut the bottom off, lopped a few branches and stuck it in the stand with water while we set out once more. We hoped the limbs would thaw and drop down out of the barrel shape into a more traditional A-line. (They never did) I think this was a tree some male cut down and when some female saw it, he was told to get rid of it and get a better one.

J suggested that after Christmas, we put it back where we found it, with a "Thanks" sign, an idea which amused us greatly. Then he paused and asked, "Was that guy in the truck really laughing at us?"  No, dear.

After we reset his truck clock, which was off because he got a new battery Friday, he turned the radio on, then off after I said it was too loud.  I said I was afraid his hearing was getting worse, and he asked me why. "Because yesterday, you didn't hear most of what I said to you!"
"Oh.....When were you talking to me?"
All friggin' day, that's when!

I was on the phone with Ameranth last night, when I moved to the kitchen doorway.
"Jeepers, Dad has been decorating and I can't see out the kitchen sink window anymore"

Ameranth inherited her Dad's love of holiday festiveness and said "Oh, I have a lot of those stickon window decorations. I have been restraining myself since Sectaurs thinks less is more."

"I don't even recognize some of them. There's a big snowball fort with snowmen all around that covers the whole top pane"

"Hey, those are mine!... well, I guess Sectaurs doesn't have to worry about my restraint now."

We have a built-in hutch across from my seat at the kitchen table and while eating tonight, my gaze fell upon one of the decorative ducks that live there with our dishes.  Nothing is safe from J.

The dogs were very interested in the tree, and our decorations. I worry a bit about Boomer, since he loves any ball he finds. So far, no casualties, although it came close when J tried to get the dogs to pose in front of the tree. Rosie's tail almost undid all of our work.  Boomer did not get the whole sit nice idea. But see how patiently Rosie sits there?

 

            Until all of that energy had to go somewhere.

 

J proudly told Sectaurs about scoring the free tree, and told me all he said was "Oh, you guys". Some of our kids think we tend to accept too much of other people's castoffs but hey, we could use this right away, and we get rid of it in a couple of weeks! Now that's efficient.

Mr Crazy picks up chicks

Not that kind of chicks! We got our annual hen replacements yesterday. Friends buy baby chicks every year, and when they start laying, we get their 'old' ones. Sadly, we usually have room for them, thanks to days like this.

Last year we just put them in the back of J's truck, with the soft cover on, which worked out fine.  W caught them, handed off to J, and I was in charge of cover control. One crafty hen was eyeing the daylight whenever I peeled the corner back for another entry. She made a break for it and missed her chance to come live with us. J had one tucked under his arm backwards, and all I saw coming at me was a soft round molting butt. Think "pink cantaloupe with five-o-clock stubble"

We were down to one lonely hen(due to a mistake which I won't go into here) who was spending her time lurking around our front step, crooning whenever she saw us, or hanging out at the fence with the dogs. Seeming so needy, we thought she would love having new friends. Not so much. We couldn't back the truck right up to the door this year, because of the new shed, so had to grope blindly under the cover and grab one at a time. I got a handful of that naked rump at one point. Eww.

The home team rep decided to attack each visitor as it came through the door, until she was outnumbered 7 to 1, and the group moved outside. Later, we brought  some bread and grapes out and saw our hen backed up into a corner and the rest milling about at the other end of the hen yard. Aw, poor little hen, left out of the clique.  Tossed the goodies in and the hostess began clucking, saying, "mmm, mmm, this is so good, look what I found, come on, come on" as hens do.  When the other ladies joined her, she attacked them all, cackling wildly. Lost our sympathy vote right there.
*******************************************************************

Trying to get out of the laundry room, without tripping over Boomer-
J-   "You know, you'd be a good backup dog"
Me-"You mean, in case something happened to a #1 dog?"
J-  "no, he walks backwards - you know, he could learn tricks and stuff"

Mr Crazy sings- or not

I've mentioned before my constant desire to burst into song + my tone deafness = keeping my singing private. A few days ago I was once again lamenting my lack of talent, when J kindly told me I sounded fine. In reply to my raised eyebrow, he said he hears me in the shower and it's not bad.  Maybe, I do sound better in the shower because I'm not worrying about inflicting my dulcet tones on others. Maybe I shouldn't be so self-conscious and dare to sing aloud.  Maybe I better remember J's hearing loss.

This morning, after a fine rendition of "It's a small world, after all" I realized I have never heard J sing in the shower. 32 years and the man has never sung in the shower?

"J, how come you don't sing or whistle? "
"I listen to music, I don't sing it"*

Later, as we drive by an organic beef farm, I point out two little baby calves. As I fondly think how endearing wobbly baby creatures are, and check out the lambs in the next field, I hear: "I haven't had veal parmigiana in a long time".

I look at him and Mr Crazy says with dignity "I don't sing, I ponder."



*However, he has been known to sing at parties 

Driving Mr Crazy

I turned left onto Ridge and heard J gasp in astonishment.
"Linda, you didn't use your blinker!"

"There's no one in sight."

"Oh ho, you tell me to use the blinker when I drive"

"That's on the highway- there are cars everywhere" (a sore spot with me- I point out that people would let him in the lane he wants if they knew he wanted to get there)

"You don't use blinkers on the highway- you use your rear view and side mirrors-"

"You what?"

"I use the mirrors to see when I can move over"

"So, the other drivers do what? peer in your mirrors to see which way your eyeballs move? This is so going in my blog!"

"I'll have to start my own blog to defend myself"

This took the half mile to our house and before I turned into the driveway, I asked "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" He does have some hearing loss, so I stopped the car in the road and asked again.

"Blink, Blink, Blink"

Laughing as we stop, he says "You're crazy" Then together we both start "Craaazy, crazy for loving you".